smile.

Today was pretty much the perfect fall day. The sun was out, the breeze was just right and we had no plans. We decided to go visit a farm on the edge of town, breath in the fresh air, buy a fresh pie (or two!) and enjoy some family time.

Now it's been pretty much impossible to catch a good picture of Kale for the last - ohhh - 5 or 6 months. Pretty much since Kale started to walk. Ninety-nine per cent of the pictures I take of Kale are of him running from the camera or running directly at the camera. When I do catch a shot, it's when he's totally not expecting it and so he always has this stunned expression on his face. So I've been pretty desperately waiting for the day I can say "Kale, smile!" and he'll flash be a toothy grin.

So I should have been totally ecstatic when Kale decided to do just that today. I mean, the setting was amazing - piles and piles of pumpkins, a clear sky with plenty of shade and the cutest little man as my subject.

Except, as it turns out, Kale has inherited more from his dad than overactive sweat glands and an ability to eat an endless amount of chicken nuggets. That's right - he's inherited 'the Chandler.'

Not familiar with this episode of Friends? The one where Chandler and Monica are getting their engagement photo's, but every time the photographer tries to take a picture, Chandler makes this weird, fake, terribly awkward smile? Despite all attempts to rid him of this weird reaction to the camera, Monica ends up using Joey as a stand-in.

And this is what happens to Kris when I try to take a picture of him. Right before I take a shot, he makes the weirdest face and then I say "why are you making that face?!" and he says "I'm smiling!" and I yell "act natural!!!" and he yells back "I AM!"

And yes, this is a really long story, but it's totally necessary. Because today when I asked Kale to stand by the pumpkin and "smile" he did this:

Awesome, right? 

he makes me stop.

Lately Kale has me stopping dead in my tracks. I'll be walking toward my baby or watching him through the little window in the door at his school and then - I freeze. Because it seems like every time I look at him, he looks just a little bit older. He's a little bit faster. A little bit funnier.

When Kale was a baby and people told me to hold onto every moment because it all goes by so fast - I actually wanted to choke them (I promise I'm not a violent person). Because at that point, time couldn't move fast enough. Because having a high-needs baby isn't easy. And as much as I loved squishy, newborn Kale, I love chubby, toddler Kale in a whole new way. A way that makes my heart explode. A way that makes me wish time would slow down. A way that makes me stop dead in my tracks. 

Friday Date Day: The Last One!

I had Friday's off this summer and so Kale and I would have a weekly Date Day. I was inspired by my friend Andrea over at Silence and Noise who often takes her little guy, Bresho, on dates. It's so nice to spend a few hours doing something special and catching some one on one time and the fact that it's during "work hours" makes it feel as though the time together is stolen somehow.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago it was the last Friday of the summer and so what better way to spend it than with Andrea and Bresho?! We had never met in real life, but I wasn't even nervous or anything. I just knew we were going to hit it off. What I wasn't prepared for was just how much MORE cute these two are in the flesh (I know, it doesn't even seem possible)!

The boys got along so well - despite some initial shyness on Bresho's part and some initial craziness on Kale's part (he just stomped right into their house and started mauling Bresho's toys). Andrea was awesome. She made amazing taco's, chattered away in her amazing Colombian accent and even more amazing - whined about the heat just as much as I did (we were literally melting on our short trip to the park).

Now, what you should really do at this point is go check out the photo's from our day together on Andrea's blog because they're so much better than mine. Also, I had to chase Kale around the playground like a mad woman, sweating and cursing the heat and barely took any pictures. So - go here.

We had such a great day! And guess what? We're going to visit them again this Sunday! I'm so excited. 

Also, I negotiated Friday's off work for the rest of the year. Let the date day's continue!!! 

Kale's room.

Kale's nursery was such a special space in our old house, despite the fact that it was rarely used. It was the where Kris and I spent so much time during my pregnancy preparing for and dreaming about our baby and parenthood. You can check out the nursery here. 


When we moved in May we gave Kale the smallest room and didn't spend too much time making things look nice since he was still bedsharing with Kris and I. We sort of just shoved things where they fit and half-heartedly hung a few pictures. When we transitioned Kale to a floor bed, we decided to switch things up and moved his room to our (much bigger) room and we moved up to the loft. With more space we could make his room a bit more functional and now we hang out in there all the time. In fact, since we moved to this house, it's really the only space that we've spent time on. 


Even though his new room has pretty much the same stuff as his old nursery, I thought I'd do another tour and share Kale's little nook.

















Look! My First Canadian Bodies! Kale's current favourite book. Every night I ask him, 'do you want to read about the bodies?' and he runs to get it. He's also a huge fan of the trucks book, 'bubble trouble,' and 'Moo Moo Where Are You?' I love that he can reach these books and picks out his favourite stories every night for us to read. 

We have french and german numbers framed above his bookcase and the spanish alphabet above his change table. Since his room is boring beige, it's these little things that give the room some pops of colour. The orange lamp is pretty much useless in terms of providing light, but it does give some colour. The laundry basket is from 3sprouts and is the cutest laundry basket ever. Right? Kale thinks putting his dirty clothes in the laundry is pretty awesome. How do I make sure he keeps thinking this until he's 18??

As much as I would love to be a crafty, DIY kind of girl, I just don't have the time (or, let's be honest, the skills). But I did make this (no sew) book sling when I was pregnant. Watch out, pinterest. The little rocking chair was a gift from my parents and Kale loves to get naked and sit in that chair. I'm not sure what the deal is with being naked, but every time his clothes come off he heads for that chair. 

The airplane mobile was about the only thing in the world that would get Kale to stop crying when he was a baby. It used to hang above his crib, but now it's above his rocker. He still loves to watch the plains bobble. And this is Kale's floor bed. The big pillow and duvet are for Kris and I when we sleep in there with Kale. Kale will NOT sleep with a blanket on him - not even the sweet baby blankets I knit for him while pregnant and the gorgeous quilts that Kris and I used to sleep with when we were babies. 

Kale's room is the happiest place in our house. We still keep most of his toys in the living room, so his room is mostly reserved for reading books, snuggling and chasing him around between diaper changes. It's pretty much my favourite place ever. 

16 months.

What Kale loves: 

• Cleaning. Ok, I'll be honest, I have NO idea where Kale picked up a love of cleaning. Kris and I are good at 'tidying' - not so much at cleaning. We tend to let things go for most of the week and then try to cram in some 'deep cleaning' on the weekend. Kale, however, loves to clean ALL.THE.TIME. The other day he pulled a box of rice krispies out of the cupboard and they spilled on the floor. I looked over, thought "ugh, I'll get that in a few minutes." Kale walked over to the stairs where he'd dropped his hand broom HOURS ago, brought it back over to his mess and promptly started to clean up the mess. He also cleans off his high chair tray when he's done eating, washes his hands every chance he gets and loves putting his books and toys away. Yeah, it's weird, but trust me - I am NOT complaining. We basically have a live in maid. 
• Trucks. Or as Kale calls them, Gucks. According to Kale, the following things fall under the category of 'gucks' - actual trucks, cars, tractors, lawnmowers, mopeds - you know, things with motors. When Kale sees a big truck, he points, yells GUCK about four thousand times and watches it until it's out of sight. He has about 43 toy trucks (more like 6) that he loves to push around the house and say "guck, guck, guck, vrooooooom, guck, guck, guck." 
• Books. Hallelujah. Up until this month Kale didn't show a whole lot of interest in books and it sort of broke my heart. This month, though, he started bringing us books and then curling up in our laps for stories. He's still a super fan of the "Canadian Bodies" book. He also has a book about trucks, and lots of books about cats and dogs. Next up? Tolstoy.
• Being chased/hiding. This kid will run laps all day through the kitchen, living room and hallway as long as someone chases him. He thinks it's hilarious and often ends up falling over and being caught because he can't control the giggles. He'll often try to hide behind the couch or in a corner and then yell "BAH!" Sometimes he takes the lazy man's approach to hiding and covers his eyes with his hands and then yells "BAH!" On super lazy days, he looks at the floor and then looks up and yells "BAH!" Obviously I jump every single time. 
• Mimicking. Kale has become quite the mimick. He loves to do exactly what we're doing and wants us to do what he's doing. If I wipe his nose, he has to wipe my nose. If I laugh, he fake laughs. One day he saw Kris shake someones hand and ever since, Kale insists on shaking people's hands when it's time to say goodbye. 

What Kale hates:  

• Being contained. Nothing new here. Kale still hates being indoors and taking him to a store or the mall is normally a disaster. While he's good in the stroller for Kris's mom and Kris, he still refuses to use it for me. Thankfully he's reacquainted himself with the Beco (although that is only for short periods of time since he is getting HEA-VY!). 

Things to Celebrate/Milestones/Big Events: 

• Dennis's wedding. Our friend Dennis got married to his lady love, Lauren, a few weeks ago. Thank goodness the ceremony was outdoors. Kale used that time to tear out as much grass as possible and squeal loudly during their vows. 
• Started school. Eeek! He slipped this milestone in on his last day as a 15 month old. Read all about his first day here. 
• Night weaning. This is a HUGE milestone for our family and we couldn't be happier with how things went. After nursing Kale every two hours all night long for the past 15 months, this is kind  of a big deal. Read about our journey here and here. 
• Floor bed. When we night weaned, we also transitioned Kale to a floor bed, putting an end to the family bed. However, Kris still spends most of the night with Kale and I'm in there with him for a few hours in the morning, so maybe we just moved the family bed to Kale's floor?! 
• Friday Date Day with Silence & Noise. Last Friday was my last Friday off (although I'm trying to negotiate extending this, but that's yet to be determined) and so it was also our last Friday Date Day. If you remember, they were inspired by my friend Andrea over at Silence & Noise. So what better way to spend our last FDD than with Andrea & Bresho?! It was so awesome to meet her in real life and the boys are so adorable together. Since Andrea is a much better blogger than I am, she's already posted pictures, so please go visit and say hello! 

According to Kale: 

• Moo. Kale has mastered the noise of the cow. We are so proud. 
• Mama. Ok, so this was Kale's first word, but as soon as he learned a second word ("Bub Bub" - the cat) he forgot all about 'mama.' In the past few months he's said it the odd time, but it's been rare and probably 50% of the time he was actually saying something else and I just convinced myself it was 'mama.' This month? It's 'mama' ALL.THE.TIME. And guess what? I love it every.single.time I hear it. 
• Nana. He looks for Nana every morning and says "nana" in the softest, sweetest voice. He loves to pull out his picture book and find the picture of nana. Way too cute. 

Some of my favourite pictures from the past month: 

Kale's first day of school.

There have been a few milestones in Kale's life that have been pretty emotional for me. Rocking him to sleep on his first birthday, watching him take his first steps and hearing him say 'mama' for the first time are all things that made my heart melt and the tears flow. But today? Today was his first day of school.

As far as transitioning to childcare, I've been about as spoiled as spoiled can be. After 8 months of maternity leave, I went back to work and Kris stayed home with Kale for another 4 months. After that we had a nanny and Kris's mom come to our home to take care of Kale. Even though Kale never warmed to the nanny completely and there were some challenges in the beginning, it was pretty nice to never have to drop him off somewhere. If I didn't have time to get Kale ready in the morning, his nana or the nanny could take over while I did my make up and rushed out the door. Since I work so close to home I could come everyday for lunch and nurse him (which also allowed me to give up pumping fairly early). I always knew where he was and what he was doing and was lucky enough to get text messages and pictures sent to me throughout the day.

All of that changed today.

Now, don't get me wrong - I was super excited for Kale to start school. He's going to a cute little Montessori school where the class size is small, the teaching approach is very much in tune with our parenting style, the food is nutritious and the teachers are warm and friendly. I was so excited for him to start that I actually convinced myself that it wouldn't be hard for me. Maybe there would be some tears from Kale. But definitely not from me.

Of course, Kale developed a serious case of the sniffles yesterday and so he didn't have the best sleep last night. I tried to make up for it by giving him a nice, big breakfast.

I was pretty impressed that not only did I manage to get us both ready on time, but also had a few extra minutes to snap these pictures. 

When we arrived at the school, Kale walked into the classroom holding my hand. I was so nervous for him, but was doing my best to hide it so he wouldn't pick up on my vibes. When we got inside there was one other student sitting at a little table drawing on a chalkboard. Kale promptly let go of my hand and walked over to her, picked up some chalk and got to business. The teachers gave me a reassuring smile and so I leaned over, kissed Kale on the forehead, told him to have a good day and said goodbye. 

Kale, without looking away from the chalkboard, gave a me a half-hearted wave and said "buh-bye." 

And that was that. 

By the time I got to the car, my eyes were full of tears and I could barely hold it together long enough to call Kris to let him know how it went. I can't believe how hard it was to see my little baby so grown up! 

All morning I kept my cell phone close in case there was a call from the school and the minutes seemed to drag by. Luckily I was so busy at work that I didn't have too much time to wonder what he was doing and worry about him being ok. At noon I hopped in my car and went to pick him up. 

When I walked in the classroom he was cleaning the tables (the kid loves to clean). I stood and watched him for a few minutes and then said "hi, Kale" and he looked up at me, his eyes lighting up and a smile spread across his face. "Mama!" We stood for a few seconds, just looking at one another. He came over and gave me a huge hug. I loved that moment. 

And then he went back over to the table and continued to clean. 

The teachers told me he did great. He got a bit cranky around his normal morning nap time and passed out for 10 minutes on the teachers knee while she read him a story. And he ate a lot. Sounds like a typical morning for Kale. 

I thought for sure he would fall asleep on the drive home, but he was still wound up from his big morning adventure. Kris's mom came over and they headed out to the park and I went back to work. About an hour later, Kris's mom snapped this: 

And that, that was Kale's first day of school. 

our night weaning journey: how we did it.

Read part 1 of our night-weaning journey here --> a short history of Kale's sleep habits. 

Once we decided we were ready for a change, we settled on trying Dr. Jay Gordon's method, with a few tweaks:

1) Ending the family bed. We have seriously loved bedsharing with Kale and so making the decision to end the family bed was a tough one. Even though Dr. Gordon's method is designed for co-sleeping families, I just knew it wasn't going to work for us. With Kale's night nursing increasing, I knew that he would pitch a total fit if I denied him the "ba-boo" in the middle of the night and it was just going to be too hard for both of us. Since we always knew we'd move Kale from the family bed to a floor bed, we decided the timing was right. We put a double mattress in Kale's room so it still gave him lots of room to move around, wasn't too different from what he was used to and, most importantly, was big enough for one of us to sleep with him.

2) Three nights. Three nights. Four nights. Dr. Gordon's Method is laid out to happen over 10 nights, but didn't want to push Kale if he wasn't ready (which Dr. Gordon totally supports). So we decided to try what he prescribes for the first three nights over a longer period. Once he seemed to adjust, we'd move on to the next three nights, etc.

How we did it:

The first week or so, Kris continued to walk Kale to sleep. If he woke before 11pm, I would go in and nurse him. From 11pm - 5am, if Kale woke up Kris would go in (and often stayed in until 5am) to comfort him. The first few nights, Kale was not impressed. Kris would do whatever he needed to to comfort Kale and get him back to sleep. Yes, there was crying, but like Dr. Gordon says - it was because he was angry, not scared. He wasn't alone and Kris was there to comfort him. He was just mad. And no, I don't enjoy hearing my baby cry because he's mad, but it's a heck of a lot different than him being alone and scared.

After two nights Kale stopped crying when Kris went in. I was so amazed at how quickly he adjusted and it was my sign that he was totally ready for this. Gradually we made the non-nursing period longer my moving the time I wouldn't go in after earlier and earlier. After about a week I wasn't going in after he originally went down (around 8-8:30pm) and wouldn't go in until 5am. At that point I'd nurse him and he'd normally go back to sleep for another two hours.

During the second week we decided it was time to get him to fall asleep without being walked or nursed. We made a new night time routine - pj's, nurse, stories, sleep - and really stuck to it. When it was time to sleep, I would lay down with him and sing until he fell asleep. The first night he cried for about 20 minutes, but I was there to hold him and comfort him. I never picked him up and every time he'd try to get up and leave, I'd lay him back down. The second night he cried for 10 minutes. The next night for 5. Then he stopped crying altogether and would just cuddle up beside me and would fall asleep within minutes.

Was I totally shocked? TOTALLY. I was so blown away by how quickly he adjusted to the changes and we were both so, so, so happy with the new night time routine. Kris continued to go in and lay down with him when he woke during the night and I continued to nurse him around 5am when he woke up. This means that I was sleeping from about 10pm-5am for the first time in 15+ months (the + is because I stopped sleeping through the night when I was pregnant!). When Kale woke at night Kris would just pull him in closer or pat his back and he'd fall back to sleep within a minute. There were even a few nights where Kale slept until 3am without waking. Amazing.

But here's the kicker -

Even though Kale is now night weaned, most nights he still wakes up just as often as when he was night nursing. So all those people who think that babies only wake at night because we're "rewarding" them by allowing them to nurse, can forget it.

Despite his night wakings, are things infinitely better? YES. Obviously things are way better for me since I get to sleep from the time I go to bed until 5am, but they are better for Kris too. Kris is a champion sleeper, so having to wake for a minute or two to settle Kale back to sleep is no problem for him. He barely wakes and can fall back to sleep no problem (which was always very, very hard for me). Also, there are nights that Kale sleeps for long periods of time, which we hope start happening more often.

Eventually we'll start working on getting Kale to fall asleep without us laying with him, but for now we're happy to have completed our night-weaning journey and feel as though we're still catching up on sleep from the last 15 months.