For almost two years, Kris and I have been with Kale when he falls asleep. For the first year we wore him in a sling, bounced him on an exercise ball, or nursed him to sleep. During the second year we rocked him, nursed him, or simply lay next to him until he drifted off. We've all enjoyed these night time rituals, but as he approaches his second birthday we'd like to see him start falling asleep without one of us holding or snuggling him. We're in no rush and we have no expectation that it will happen easily or quickly. We're letting him set the pace with just a gentle nudge in the right direction from us.
Over the past couple of weeks I've been worked slowly and patiently to have Kale fall asleep with me sitting next to him. The first night there was a lot of protesting, but within a few nights, he was seemed to accept things. On one condition. That I held his hand.
"Mama? Mama sleep with Kale?"
"No Kale, Mama is going to wait with you while you fall asleep and then I'm going to sleep upstairs."
"No Mama! Sleep with Kale!"
"Not tonight, Kale. I'll wait here with you though until you fall asleep."
*sniffle, sniffle* "Mama hold Kale's hand?"
How can I say no to that? So here we are. A new bedtime ritual. Holding hands.
So beautiful! We're going through the same transition with Jude, only he insists on wedging his arm under our back or neck. Now that we sit up, he wedges it under my butt hehe!
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful! We're going through the same transition with Jude, only he insists on wedging his arm under our back or neck. Now that we sit up, he wedges it under my butt hehe!
ReplyDeleteWe started the hand holding at about 6 months. It seemed to be the only way to distract Tom into falling asleep. Now, at 33 (!) months, we still have to wait until he falls asleep before tip toeing out of the room. Sometimes it drives me crazy, but sometimes I love not being able to do anything other than sit there any watch him fall asleep in the dark.
ReplyDeleteseba used to fall asleep on his own without problems.. but within the last several months he needed someone (me) nearby to fall asleep. i actually love it. i love lying with him and touching nose to nose as he falls asleep. i'm pretty sure i was exactly the same when i was a kiddo. and as stefano says... there are no adults that insist on their parents lying with them till they fall asleep -- so i'm pretty sure they'll eventually grow out of it. and then we'll cry.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me cry!!! It's so hard to let go, literally!! I love that Kale still wants to hold onto some part of his mama. He's growing so much, you can really tell in the last few posts. You are such a kind, thoughtful mama, Randalin. You are so in tune with him and his needs and it shows!
ReplyDeleteKale is so sweet. I love the conversation and the inclusion of the sniffle. When I don't give Cole Doo Doo, he gives me the huggghhhhhh sound. Sometimes he does something that sounds like a sniffle, just to let me know he's disappointed.
ReplyDeleteI love the picture. It's just so sweet. Cole holds our hands at dinner sometimes. It's very sweet and so Cole. Just curious (because our boys are so similar) - how long did the protest last the first night? And do you nurse before the lights are out?
I totally agree - I love being there when Kale falls asleep, but there are nights when it seems to take forever and there is an episode of Mad Men waiting for me and a cold beer in the fridge....
ReplyDeleteYes, I will definitely cry the day Kale tells me to "get outta muh room!"
ReplyDeleteThanks mama :)
ReplyDeleteWe normally nurse after the lights go out. I'm totally ok if Kale falls asleep nursing, but it doesn't happen often. Normally he'll nurse and then tell me "all done! Sleepy time!" Then I get out of bed, tuck him in with his sock monkey, and sit next to him. The first night he protested for about 30 minutes - now he gives me a hard time for about 5 minutes.
ReplyDeleteAHH! I just stopped over here and things are all different. Lady are you doing a side header? I am totally digging those lately. Please say yes! And then I will follow suit.
ReplyDeletep.s. Are we hanging poolside with Kale this weekend? That's the word on the street.