So when I saw the forecast for this beautiful long weekend, I thought "we should relive that time we went to the zoo and ended up hating life." Well, kind of. At the time I was thinking more along the lines of "we should try the zoo again because now Kale is two and he's going to get it and it's going to awesome and I can get a tan." Except I really should have been thinking the first thing because the only truth that came from the second thing was a slight tan.
We did everything right. I mean, we did learn a couple things the first time around. We brought lots of snacks. We left early so we could in plenty of zoo time before Kale's nap. We listened to the traffic on the way down. We minimized our stuff into a small backpack and my camera bag so we didn't have to lug around a ton. And most important of all -
We made a pact that we'd move at Kale's pace. We wouldn't lose our patience like every other parent seemed to be doing. We entered the gates with zero expectations.
Oh, it wasn't all horrible - but we did end up joining the ranks and losing our patience. We did end up make a beeline for the exit with a two year old under our arm like a football - sweaty, tired and exasperated. Why?
Kale had ZERO interest in sitting in the wagon. Kale has ALWAYS hated any form of restraint - we know this well. The stroller, the car seat, etc. Hates 'em all. We don't mind carrying him. We're used to it. We don't mind slowing things down to let him walk and explore. We're used to it. But when it's deadly hot out and there are seemingly 60,000 people with 12,000 strollers NOT WATCHING WHERE THEY'RE GOING, letting Kale lead the way is, uh, impossible.
Besides, Kale was way more interested in leading the way toward a weedy patch of land behind a random service station or into the shelter of a makeshift beaver damn than toward anything remotely cool. Like, say an ORANGOUTANG or a BABY POLAR BEAR. Seriously people, there were cute funny monkey's right in front of us and Kale totally ignored them. Instead he spent 30 minutes laughing hysterically at the dust clouds he was making my picking up dirt and clapping his hands.
We did, however, manage to see a few animals...
After four hours of chasing Kale through throngs of people and bribing him with snacks to get him to sit in the wagon for more than four minutes, we made it official: Kale is not a zoo kid.
We beelined for the car and he napped the whole way home. When we got there, we filled his small pool up in the backyard, he stripped off all his clothes, covered himself in mud and dug holes in the sand. I opened a beer and laid out on the deck, lazily watching our son have the best afternoon ever.
Maybe next year, friends, maybe next year.....
This was the funniest post ever. My personal favorite was the end of what you were actually thinking, with the added part about the tan totally cracking me up. It's so funny how he went for the random out of the way stuff. It's like when we take Cole to the town park and all he wants to do is hang out by the side of the community center and climb up and down the stairs. Or watch the buses across the street. It never ceases to amaze me how the little things are so much more appreciated by these little people.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm thankful that we can see the humour in it all. When we got in the car, Kris said, "that worked out way better than I thought" and I was like, "REALLY?!" and he said "oh no, not at all" and we both burst out laughing.
DeleteSorry it was a fail again! I DO know the secret to the zoo and toddler success.. but it requires a great many special circumstances that aren't easy to arrange - weekday during the school year (no crowds), early morning (no nap conflicts), membership (key because then it doesn't matter if you only see a peacock, you'll see more next time).. If you can get away on a weekday Ollie and I can show you and Kale how it is done - you could pass for Chris with our membership, right? And once this baby comes, we can BOTH collapse with a beer on the deck after!
ReplyDeleteOh I was totally thinking of you guys because I remember you posting pictures from when Chris took Ollie to the zoo! You are clearly way smarter than us!! We totally need Ollie to show us how it's done.
DeleteEli has a field trip to a small farm animal "zoo" this week with the speech therapy group. I'm hoping it goes well, but I'm trying not to get my hope up. At least it will be much smaller than a major zoo. Oh, and there is a train! We are day trip distance from the San DIego Zoo, but I'm not sure this would be the year for it. After reading your post I am more inclined to wait until he's 3. I totally see him being like Kale, more enthralled with playing with the dust than the actual animals.
ReplyDeleteLove the tiger photo!
I think going with other kids will help. Kale acts COMPLETELY different when he's with his friends at school. I'm sure that if we went with his class and he saw the other kids sitting in the wagon or looking at the animals, he'd be totally into it.
DeleteWe don't have a zoo nearby so Saige has never been, but after reading this and knowing that she and Kale are similar in far too many ways, I'm thinking we won't be making any trips to Calgary soon {or ever}. I don't know about you but zoos, rodeos, circuses, horse drawn carriages, people walking around with parrots, monkeys, pythons, etc around their neck for 'donations' just makes me sad. I know zoos are by far the lesser 'evil' but I can't help but feel upset. Great photos by the way.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completely - I do get a little sad seeing all those animals out of their natural element, but I know they're treated well at the zoo (I would NEVER, EVER go to a circus).
DeleteThanks for the photo compliment! It was my first time using my new lens :)
Seriously. Your kid and my kid must have been best friends on the other side or something. Kale sounds just like my Buckaroo. I think in my post I alluded to the "questionable" mood that my kid was in during the first part of our zoo trip. Um, yeah. It was something like overwhelm combined with hyperstimulation and early onset late morning fatigue OR SOMETHING and it resulted in restlessness nearing hysteria. We went to the zoo once last summer and it ended much the same way you describe here: football hold and all. My hubby and I bickered the whole time, to boot. Miserable. This year, at least we were a little more prepared and rested... but I thought for a minute we had made the worst decision ever bringing a 2 year old to the zoo. That tiger really saved the day. We must commiserate. And maybe I should start drinking beer.
ReplyDeleteWHAT?! They don't outgrow their dislike of wagons, strollers, carseats, etc?
ReplyDeleteThis is terrible news. I'm going to go back to my fantasy land now and try to forget what you just told me.
No worries Julia - every other kid at the zoo seemed perfectly content to sit in something that rolled them through the maze of people and animals. I mean, at least that's how it felt.... don't lose hope!!
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